"Mama, why do I have to do my vest a lot?"
I could see the wheels turning as she tried to understand. I explained it the best I could for her four year old little mind. My heart ached as I told her that she was born with something we call cystic fibrosis. I told her she could call it CF and that some kids even call it 65 roses. I told her that her vest and her cool masks kept her from getting sick. I told her that's why we have to go see her doctor friends sometimes.
I asked her if she felt better after doing her vest and she nodded. She said her favorite part was getting to watch a show and color.
I know there will be more questions the older she gets and some days I can't help but feel overwhelmed with how I'm going to answer those. See, CF sucks. It sucks to do treatments everyday and take medicine every time you eat. It sucks that your normal includes doctors and hospitals and not being able to play with other kids like you. Even my "half-full" perspective can't always find the good in CF.
Over the last four years, I've learned to push CF as far away as possible to give her the simplest life I can. I'll keep fighting for simple. I'll keep focusing on the present and loving my girl the best I know how.
Today, we'll snuggle and play and maybe even have a Mama/Sissy date. Lord knows I need it after a heart-wrenching explanation like that.
CF may suck, but life doesn't have to.