Thursday, May 26, 2011

Beginning

"The test is going to be positive." I remember holding Ben in my arms when the pediatrician's nurse said that before the blood test had even come back. Up until then, it had all been speculation. As we slowly were telling immediate family members we would say things like, "Well, they think he might;" "It's just features;" "We don't know for sure." It wasn't that I was in denial. I knew in my heart it was true, but it wasn't until that moment that I fully accepted the fact that my son had Down Syndrome. 
We were able to breathe a sigh of relief after that visit. We finally knew. We came home and made the appropriate phone calls. Most were positive reactions. "Oh, he's just perfect;" "He has such special parents;" "He's going to bring you so much joy." 
There was one reaction that I thought I was ready for. I wasn't. "Why?" 
Why?! Why!!? I didn't know why. The only answer I could muster was, "Well, it's just a God thing." I remember pondering that question and crying. I really didn't know why. All I knew was that he was perfect. He was my son. He was a gift from God. Why did I have to know why he was different? It didn't really matter anyway. 

Our normal is different than yours. If you had asked us when we got married where we thought we'd be in four years, we probably wouldn't have told you, "Micah will be in Afghanistan working for the military as a civilian contractor while Amber stays in Longview taking care of our son with Designer genes." It's been a wild four years. Join me as I write about our experiences - past, present and future.    



3 comments:

  1. Welcome to the blogosphere, Amber. I look forward to watching Ben (and you!) grow. :-)

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  2. Love you and Ben so very much! Look forward to more writings!

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  3. Amber, I only know you through your photos, FB and Lisa C. Lisa and I have known each other for a long time now. I must say that every "blog" or post you write about your handsome little Ben makes me tear up. God did know what he was doing when he sent precious Ben to you. I can't wait to read more about you guys and thank you for being the strong, Godly woman that you are. Ben is blessed for sure to have you as a mommy!!

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