I did a stupid thing. Micah's been home for the past 6 (ish) weeks. While it's been completely wonderful, I have found myself thinking far too much, "Dang it; he's gotta go back." Long story short, I've caught myself day-nightmareing about what life is going to be like this time around and I think that caused me to miss out on what could've been really great moments. We had a lot of time to catch up on our many road trips. After venting about not wanting to "settle in" where I am right now because we may not be here as long as we'd like, Micah's level headedness hit me like a Mack truck. "Who cares. Be all here regardless of where you are. You never know what's gonna happen." Yep; it was a "What's up, God" moment for me for sure. Be all here. What a concept.
I find myself doing that with Ben. There are so many things I worry about with him entirely too often. What if he has health issues later? What if he doesn't always develop as well as he is right now? What about school? Sheesh. Ben is an awesome kid. Right now, he's still the picture of perfection. At his four month appointment, his pediatrician looked me in the eye and said, "If it wasn't for his cute features you couldn't convince me he had Down Syndrome." He's hit every milestone he's supposed to and then some. Awesome. So, who cares about what happens later. I want to be all here. "You never know what's gonna happen."
You know what? I was all here today. I'll be all here tomorrow and the next day. And, by golly, I'll be all here after Saturday, too. Why? 'Cause it's not worth the struggle to not be.
Happy Today to you. Be all here with me.