Days like today often put Benjamin in perspective for me. I know it might sound silly, but I forget that he has Down syndrome. It's those moments when people stop us and say, "Hey my brother has Downs" or when Mr. Urologist doesn't deliver the news we were expecting. Frankly, Ben's been such a picture of perfection that when something goes a little off kilter it feels like the whole boat could flip at any moment. Maybe it's because of everything else going on in our lives. Maybe it's because it feels like things might pile on until it actually does flip over. Maybe it's because the Lord knows I need lessons in patience and trust.
Regardless, here's the deal...
Dude needs surgery. God gave his bladder a little extra something. Problem is, the extra something isn't allowing his body to get rid of what it's supposed to. So surgery it is. It's a fairly simple procedure, all things considered. [That's me convincing myself that 2-3 hours under the knife and a 2-3 day hospital stay is indeed "simple."] But Micah's right; we've been so blessed with Ben's health. A lot of babies with designer genes have heart issues that require major surgery and so far Ben's heart beats in perfect rhythm. So a bladder diverticulum? Bring it.
I may have choked back tears talking to the doctor. I may have checked out and gotten home wondering if I had actually driven there. I may have felt a little numb while talking to people on the phone. And I may have been reminded of things I needed to hear in those conversations. I also may have realized that I'm not alone in this. I heard this song on the way home and for whatever reason this line stuck with me the rest of the day. "We were meant to be courageous." I know the writers meant for this to be directed to men and encouraging them to be leaders in their families and communities, but I also believe that to be true in our lives right at this moment. God did not give me a spirit of fear. But of power, love and a sound mind. [2 Timothy 1:7] We were meant to be courageous. We got this. No - He's got this. We've got nothing to fear.
So an extra chromosome? Bring it.
Extra bladder pouch? Bring it.
No idea how the next chapter of our story is going to turn out? Bring it.
I've got my cape and tiara.
[And my pink stilettos. Oh yes.]