Sunday, October 21, 2012

Ideal

I had an idea in my head about how life was going to be when Micah came home. It didn't involve tears or waiting or mishaps or Texas. It was supposed to be easy and immediate. I figured we had paid our dues of hardships the last few years and it would magically be over. I was wrong. There have been tears and waiting and mishaps; unpublished stories that you probably wouldn't believe if I told you. It's been hard. Even the marriage part has had it's ups and downs. I'm thrilled that I no longer have to talk to my husband through a computer screen, but when you live without someone for two years, you tend to forget what it's like to live with them. Throw in being semi-homeless and PTSD and you've got a recipe for difficult days. It's the unspoken reality of military wives. I heard a seasoned military wife at Bay Life describe it like this: "I had the perfect marriage until my husband came home. I made all the decisions; my house looked the way I wanted it to; I planned everything; I took care of it all. Then my husband came home and screwed it all up." Unfortunately, that's part of the journey. Like anything else, you gotta get through the storm to appreciate the rainbow.  Even in the best of times, marriage takes work. It's a privilege to be married and I think we forget that. We too often act like our mate owes us something. It's a vicious cycle that often ends in discontentment and bitterness because we've put so much pressure on them to be something their not. It's why God tells us to love and respect. If wives are willing to respect their husbands, husbands will be willing to love their wives... and on goes the cycle that works.


Life doesn't always go the way you picture. Our ideal and God's plan may not always look right together. Sometimes God erases the whole thing and you feel like you're starting from scratch. It's okay to be angry; it's okay to cry. As my dad would say, "It's why God gave you tears." The point is not what happens. What matters is how you handle it. Happiness is a choice. Contentment is a choice. It's okay if it takes a while to get there. Just get there. And if that's what it takes to bring glory to God... then bring it.


In other news,
The Buddy Walk delivered. We had no idea what to expect and were shocked to find that the 'View (of all places) had so many people who loved Designer genes. We strutted our stuff and felt proud to be a part of the crowd. Even Uncle Eric showed up (Thank you!)


 


Ben started PT two weeks ago and, I swear, this woman is a saint. I broke out the size 4 shoes not long ago and thought, "I bet he'll walk in these." I'm already a blubbery mess just thinking about that moment. It's the milestone of milestones and I can feel it coming.

Dance partay! 

Until next time.... Happy Awareness Month and Happy Fall Y'all!

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