Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year

It's a new year. With a new year comes new goals and new fears - both of which have taken root in my mind lately. We had a lot of "I never thought we'd be here" moments in 2012 intermingled with sweet memories and an outpouring of blessings. Those blessings are what I want to remember the most.
This year, though, has a different feel already. We're embarking on new adventures and sometimes those can be scary. Take this little miracle growing inside. It's exciting, yes. Bringing new life into the world, giving Ben a little playmate, soaking up those early Mama moments just like last time. But last time wasn't easy. In the midst of a vulnerable writing session, I let myself go back a little bit. I cried and told God that I just wanted something to be easy. Sometimes thinking about those events is a little bit terrifying. I told God that blood is important and I just wanted to be there for my kids. (Like He didn't already know that.) Exhaustion and pregnancy hormones probably attributed to the vulnerability, but nonetheless, good and bad, God gave us emotions and He's cool with us putting them to good use.

On a lighter note, how were your holidays? Our Texas Christmas was enjoyable. Ben was spoiled rotten, our fireplace was put to good use and Jesus loves my mother - He sent her snow! I actually stayed up to ring in the New Year. I couldn't tell you the happenings from about 9pm on, but I kept my eyes open and that counts when you're three months pregnant.

2013, I'm ready for you and my hopes are high. You've already had some unexpected surprises. Good ones. So, thanks. Regardless of what the rest of the your months bring, I'm thankful you're not in my hands. Rest easy, be gentle and bring it on.

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