Wednesday, June 12, 2013


The closer we get to D-day (3 weeks from today to be exact), the more I find myself thinking about when Ben was born. Even though nothing went the way we thought it would, it was still one of the most invigoratingly wonderful learning experiences of my life. There's so much that I feel like I don't remember about those first few days and the things I do remember are hard to think about. Painful memories; feelings of guilt for the thoughts and reactions I had toward my own son. So maybe it was a little more "bittersweet" than "invigoratingly wonderful." Either way, growing and learning is all a part of the story. And I'd rather have a bittersweet chapter beginning than no beginning at all.

Am I ready for D-day this time? Physically, yes. My body feels a bit over max capacity and I'm definitely at the "ready" part of the nine month adventure. Emotionally? Heavens, no. I'll probably enter the operating room with a heavy, nervous heart. But that's okay. I'd rather have a nervous chapter beginning than no beginning at all.

Kids are a blessing and a reward. Jesus even says so. Ben is a blessing. It may have taken us a little longer to accept his differences and come around to his complete and utter joy, but I'd rather have to take a little longer to write the chapter than to not be able to write it at all.

We're ready for you to be a part of our family, Miss Alexis. Your chapter is waiting.  

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