Sunday, January 18, 2015

Your Circumstances May Never Change

Something incredible happens when we face our mortality. Micah faced his head on; I faced mine inadvertently. When you have no choice but to survive the moment at hand, when you have no choice but to forget everything except what's happening in your life at the time, something remarkable happens when you pull yourself out of the rubble.

You start living. 

I've had conversations with friends, family, even acquaintances that have left me baffled. They've even made me angry. "How could you possibly be worried about that?!" In the midst of my ocean, I would beg God to take it all away; to let me start over. I'd plead for small stuff. I wanted to desperately to see where these people were coming from because at the time, I just... didn't. I wanted to be worried about the small things. I wanted to fit in. 

There are still times that I wonder what my life would be like if there was never an ocean; if I never had to be picked up out of the rubble; if I never got the chance to get to know who Jesus really is; if I never faced my mortality. Whether we voice it or not, I think prayer sometimes becomes a "fix it" method. "If I ask God for it, it's going to happen." I think that's why we get pissed off so easily when He doesn't allow our circumstances to change or when life doesn't turn out the way we planned. It's easy to blame God and throw fists in that direction, isn't it? We so often miss the point of God's goodness. It's not so much whether or not He's good (He's already proven He is)... but whether or not we choose to see it.  

You probably have oceans. Everybody's got a story. Whether you've had to scrape the bottom or you've just begun to sink... grab on, Sister. Eventually you'll begin to reach the surface. Eventually you'll look back with intense thankfulness to a Savior who knows you better than you thought He did. You'll thank Jesus for the rain and you'll never, ever look at life the same again. 

That's where I'm at right now. Sitting in the Big City, writing, preparing for a humbling experience next month and so incredibly thankful to know a loving God who is not interested in making life easy, but rather proving His goodness by allowing us to see outside of our circumstances. 

Hang in there. I won't lie to you...your circumstances may never change. But you will.