Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Dear Planned Parenthood: Stop Killing My Kids

I have wrestled and agonized over this post for weeks. I even wrote one, launched it, posted it on Facebook and took it down a couple hours later. Truth is, as much as I'd like to, I just can't seem to approach this without being angry and in your face, so I'm just going to be angry and in your face. If you are a Planned Parenthood supporter, a pro-abortion advocate, if you've had an abortion or you're thinking about having one... just know that ultimately you are loved so graciously and know that there is a way out of whatever you're facing. Just take it in stride. One step at a time. One step away from Planned Parenthood. You can do it.  

Dear Planned Parenthood,

While I fully believe that your entire viewpoint is flawed and hateful, I also fully believe that you are loved by a gracious God. You probably have people like me writing to you everyday. You've probably heard things like this a hundred times by now, especially since the start of this new debate. But this is how I get emotions out.

And this is me angry.

I've seen the videos. At this point, who hasn't, right? We're at number six now and nothing's changed in the message behind them. You're selling body parts for profit whether or not you're ever convicted. We've seen you sifting through piles of parts, naming each one, assessing the quality and labeling how much you think you'll get for them. We've heard the callousness in your voice, we've seen you chuckle and joke about what you're doing.

Listen, I get it. It's your job. Nothing more; nothing less. You've become numb to the idea that these "tissues" actually have a heartbeat you're stopping. You've convinced yourselves that they're not actually important and you count on the fact that others will believe that, too. And it's working for you. It's worked for you since 1973.

You're proud of what you're doing and that right there... that's the problem. 

Here's my take on all this. I'll make it simple. Are you ready?

You're murdering my kids.

With every new video, that's immediately where my mind goes. I hear, "This one's a 15 weeker... 18 weeker... 21 weeker" and I think, "I wonder what was wrong with them."

The fact of the matter is that, though many are aborted out of convenience, many, many, many more are aborted because of a diagnosis that may or may not even be true in the end. Down syndrome statistics alone are at a staggering 90% or higher in their abortion rate. And I get it. Hearing a diagnosis is tough. It's gut wrenching. If you can convince these Mama's that they can avoid that kind of heartache, then you've got them hooked, right?

So, congratulations. You've successfully convinced entire generations that these children... my children aren't actually worth having. You've managed to "counsel" mothers into believing that they have the right to decide what their perfect family looks like. You've even convinced the government that murder is worth funding with our tax dollars. I'd say you deserve a hell of a clap for that one. Well played.

Here's the deal, though. It doesn't have to be this way. You don't have to do this. You can stop convincing, stop the nervous laughter, stop feeling numb, stop this crazy mindset any time you want. You don't have to be proud. You have to know it's not okay. Everybody knows you're killing babies and everybody knows murder is not okay and yet here we still sit, with more and more abortions taking place every single day.

Here's an idea. How about instead of pushing women to abort their babies, we tell them they have other choices. How about giving them actual, productive counsel instead of just giving them papers to fill out. How about letting them meet Mama's who get it. How about instead of just saying you're helping women... how about you actually help them.

These videos have launched the pro-life movement farther than we've been in decades. We're working hard at getting into the driver's seat and we won't stop fighting to get there.

I guess we've just figured that if you're not going to back down... neither are we.

Good luck.


Sunday, August 9, 2015

My Life is Your Worst Nightmare

I wrote this post two years ago. In some ways it feels like I wrote it yesterday; in other ways it seems like it was ten years ago. It still stings to read. I still remember how it felt to type those words.

I'll be honest - Alexis' first year is a bit of a blur. I was there, but I was certainly not present. The ache of grief that I felt lingered for most of that year. Figuring out how to care for her and the reality of what life was going to be like for her, for us, was so incredibly overwhelming. 

I remember the days following that phone call. We hung out with friends and I remember sitting on the couch holding my baby girl, wishing so desperately I could just cry and scream and tell them all what was going on, but I sat silent. I felt both numb and in excruciating pain at the exact same time. The words just wouldn't come. 

I've had the opportunity to share my story since then. As I sat writing out what I wanted to say, there was a side of me that wanted to start with, "I'm Amber and my life is your worst nightmare." I dwelled on those words for days before finally backspacing my way out of it. I wanted to say that because my life, my children, my story was my worst nightmare. For a good chunk of time, that's how I felt; that's how I lived. Finding out Alexis had CF was my nightmare. Coupled with everything else we had been through in the years prior; please. I was a ridiculous mess. 

But even last night, as I sat in the midst of new friends hearing bits and pieces of their stories, I couldn't help but feel thankful for mine. There is something so beautiful about the way Jesus rescued me out of that pit of darkness. Believe me, there are still dark days and I know my story is far from over, but when He makes you realize that your nightmare is actually your biggest blessing, that's something to celebrate. 

So here we are, two years post diagnosis and Alexis is doing incredibly well. She still does treatments and takes medicine every day. She loves Sofia the First, mommy's makeup and she always wears shoes. She loves to dance with Brother and go swimming. She is a total joy! We go to the CF clinic every three months and it's been a good while since we've received any discouraging news. I don't think too far into the future because I don't need to. We live one day at a time, celebrating every single breath. 

I know. You don't know how I do it, right? 

That's okay. I do. 

It is only by the grace of God. It is only because His mercies are new every morning. 

Maybe my life really is your worst nightmare. Maybe I'm okay with that. 

God is still God. God is still good. 

Where there is fear, there is faith. Where there is heartache... there is hope