Monday, October 19, 2015

Live it Anyway

I remember the first time it happened. We had just moved to Mayberry and she was in her new room. I scooped her up out of her crib, changed her diaper and carried her out to the living room. I realized that it had been the first time I had walked into her room in the morning...unafraid.

Until then, going into her room and scooping her up in the morning made my heart pound out of my chest. There was so much I felt like I didn't understand about cystic fibrosis and so my mind would wander. I was so afraid of what I would find every morning - or not find.

One of Alexis' early appointments at the CF clinic went something like this: "...and if there's ever an emergency situation like, say, she stops breathing... call 911, tell them she has CF and they'll call us." There was more information that day, but I couldn't stop the tears as the respiratory therapist held my hands and explained that, though rare for most kids, that situation was more of a possibility than she'd like to admit. And as if I wasn't afraid already of what I'd find every morning, I'd say that (completely necessary) conversation pushed me over the edge.

Until that one day.

People have opinions about kids like Alexis, Jaxon or even Abigail. Many people's unfortunate opinion is that their lives are not worth living. That keeping them is a selfish thing to do. As a culture and sometimes even as Church, we believe life isn't allowed to be hard. That "God wouldn't allow that." I believe the truth is that He allows the hard, the unexpected, the immense darkness so He can show off. After all, light shines brightest in the darkness. He knows that - He created it. As much as we'd like to assume otherwise, life wasn't meant to be easy. He knows that - He created it. If life were always easy, we wouldn't need Him.

People are critical, hurtful and say all the wrong things... love them anyway.

Emotions are overwhelming and have a mind of their own... feel them anyway.

Life is hard, unpredictable, often terrifying and dark...
live it anyway.